Now that I have found the time

Don't be entirely surprised that I have been absent a few months from this blog.  Some call me crazy and others call me a workaholic but when it's proxy season, overtime is my bestest friend.  I drive a fine line between working for overtime pay and being dedicated.  I also have to remind myself that during this time I've managed to stay with my second job, as a waitress.  I think people always forget or don't realize how much energy being a waitress truly does take from you.  I'm obviously more aware of it now that I've had a desk job for more than two years.  Oh and let me tell you HOW outta shape I've managed to become.  It's quite depressing as a matter of fact.  But...I'm the only one to blame for feeling this way.  When you are young and playing sports in high school you don't realize that the structure of team and a coach is what helps keep you motivated.  Trying to get motivated or stay motivated, for me, is damn near impossible.  I've come to accept this as a flaw.


So yesterday was my birthday.  It is the first birthday I have enjoyed in a very long time.  I think it is very possible that I have come to except the coming of age.... Something else that comes with age is the onset of lovely feelings the body produces alllllll of a sudden which you are now completely and udderly aware of on a daily basis.  And on that note, that is why I FINALLY purchased a Crossfit membership.  Now don't start applauding yet because I managed to get an awesome Groupon deal (yes, I know I'm a cheapskate) but it was the exact motivation that I needed to just take the leap and go for it.  I've come to grisp with the fact that if I want to do Crossfit then it is going to cost me a pretty penny to do it.  But I need that hardcore, adrenaline, I can't move tomorrow type of motivation.  In my recent quest to better myself, inside and out, going to a Crossfit gym has been towards the bottom of the list.  I've worked for a couple of years now on my financial health, within the past few months began working on my mental/emotional health, so last but definitely not least is my physical health.  Wish me luck.

“Old age is not so bad when you consider the alternatives.”

Currently on a high note

I've never consider myself a cheerful person.  :-/  I guess I'm just too misanthropic, on a daily basis.  But when I come into work and I seem to be the most upbeat person, that really says a lot for all of the others.  It's Friday!!!  And we have a three day weekend coming up!  Woo Hoo!!!  Exhibit some sort of excitement...please.  Now granted I can't stand an overly bubbly person but I would accept that right now considering the lot that is working here today. 

On a personal note, I can definitely say that a lot has recently made me happy.  First and foremost, I have mornings to myself again.  This semester my husband has to be at school by 7:45 so he generally leaves around 7.  This means I can finally get dressed with the light on!  LOL  Most recently I've changed my routine (I had issues with motivating myself at night to wash my face, brush my teeth, etc.).  So, I now take showers at night and get everything done before I go to bed.  Which means I get to sleep in an extra 15 minutes in the morning and I get to take my time getting ready for work.  A luxury I haven't had in about 4 years.  Secondly, I have had to back down on the amount of days I work at my second job.  The busy season is going to kick in soon at my full time job but unfortunately we don't know when that will specifically happen.  So, for now, I'm enjoying have the extra few evenings a week.  Third but probably best of all, my best friend is moving to the Triangle!!!  I miss my bestie.  We both moved away from Wilmington within a month of each other.  She moved to Fayetteville and I moved to the Raleigh/Durham area, only an hour and a half apart but still too far.  I've begged her off and on over the past two years to move here too but she wanted to stay closer to her family (can't blame her, that's why I moved here).  But now! she is moving to the Triangle and I'm terribly excited.  I have my coffee buddy back!

What to do? What to do?

So.  I don't want to feel as if my bachelor's degree (Business Administration - concentration Operations Management) was a waste of time but I don't particularly enjoy it.  It probably doesn't help that I denied the career path that I really should have taken...medicine.  Through many discussion with my husband and years of watching medical mystery shows, crime scene investigations, and animal rescues, I've decided I want a career change.  I realize I have to go back to school and to be honest I secretly enjoy the idea of going back to college. 

Here's my dilemma (a dilemma all freshmen in college face): what do I want to do with my life?  When I was younger I was hooked on Unsolved Mysteries.  Any show that had to do with solving a murder or crime through medical science I was glued to the screen.  Knowing that a crime could be solved because of the contents of the person's stomach or from a carpet fiber amazed me to no end.  And part of the glory of it all is that you are speaking for those who no longer can.  Most recently I've gone the opposite direction of death and enjoyed the idea of becoming a labor and delivery nurse or a pediatric nurse.  I've also read a few books on midwifery.  Walking couples through what is probably one of the most special moments of their lives is awe inspiring. 

So?  I'm torn.  Do I become a nurse?  Or do I become a forensic pathologist?  I hope to start school at the beginning of next year.  I obviously need to make a choice by then.  Either way, I know I would enjoy what I was doing.  I am also pretty much guaranteed to never be bored at work.

New Year but no new resolutions

The style in which I rang in the new year will probably be a good indication of what is to come.  I began the evening working at Spirits Pub & Grub, knowing damn well that we would not be remotely busy for this particular holiday.  (Working in the service industry and having a degree in Operations Management has made me very intuitive in this aspect.)  I putzed around most of the evening, seeing as how I only had four tables in four hours.  I looked forward to the fact that I would be able to get home and sit in my sister's cozy house with my husband to ring in the new year.  And then it happened.  Shortly after 9 o'clock a couple walked in, part of a larger party, 'dressed to the nines'.  The gentleman was even wearing a matching bow tie and cummerbund.  (Really?...Really? Matching cummerbund LOL).  My manager made an honest mistake and gave me a party that was already reserved for another server.  He was unaware of that fact, and didn't ask the right questions, that this couple was part of the original reservation.  I served a few drinks and the rest of the party walked in. The mistake was realized.  I repeatedly offered the other server the table, (mainly in an attempt to not stay ALL night) but she followed server etiquette and told me to keep the table.  It's an easy transfer in the system but again she told me to keep the table.  Let me not forget to mention, this party planned to Ring in the New Year at our fabulous little pub.  I was stuck.  No longer was this other server closing down the restaurant.  The glorious task now fell upon me. Whoo....hooo.  Since
the evening was now going to be consumed with serving duties I called my husband and kindly asked that he come up to the pub sometime after 11 so I'd at least be able to kiss him at midnight.  The night wasn't terrible but definitely not how I expected to spend my New Year's Eve celebration.  Granted this one party supplied me with more then half of the tips that I ended up making but I wouldn't have missed it either.

Happy New Year to me

I probably should make some sort of point in the symbolism aspect of that evening.  Spirits Pub & Grub is my part-time, second job.  In my lack of patience for debt freedom I applied for a server job (Desk jockey by day, table runner by night).  The job was meant to be a two or three night a week job in which every last penny went to pay off debt my husband and I have accumulated.  Our goal is debt freedom by the end of this summer.  Fingers crossed everybody.  Come to find out over my three month employment there, this restaurant does a lot of "cleaning house".  And apparently when you are good server you tend to acquire more shifts.  I also began to get calls from other servers asking me to cover his/her shift.  I have weaknesses in this area (which sort of go hand in hand): I'm a workaholic and I can't pass up an opportunity for money.  "The trouble with opportunity is that it always comes disguised as hard work."  My part-time, second job has now turned into my practically full-time, second job.  I miss my husband immensely but I can't wait to tell Bank of America to &*%$ off! :-D

As far as resolutions are concerned, I guess I have a few. For the most part these resolutions have already been in progress. First and foremost: I'm (We - Brian and I) going to get out of debt. We have been well on our way and are making larger and larger leaps in this process. Since I don't know the exact amount of tips I make each week, we've set an approximate time frame of the end of this summer. And maybe I should be more realistic in stating that we will be free of all consumer debt by the end of the summer. I have family members I wish to pay back as well. In order to continue my motivation, I've set separate goals for these two different types of debt. Second and more importantly: I need to get a handle on my stress. Those close to me know the vicious cycle I cause myself with my inability to get control of this (probably the only thing I feel I don't have control of). I've decided I will do what is necessary to be the type of person I've always admired. This is coupled with the idea that I don't want to loose my marriage and the few friendships I have over the fact that I'm a cynical ass who sarcasm and inability to filter myself has caused enough heartache. (Deep rooted childhood issues table for one.) "The secret of success is learning how to use pain and pleasure instead of having pain and pleasure use you. If you do that, you're in control of your life. If you don't, life controls you." Anthony (Tony) Robbins (and yes I just quoted Tony Robbins) Third and probably last: I want to start yoga. I honestly would love to start cross fit training and have the hot, muscular body of someone like Gina Carano but I'll start with small goals first. Yoga is something I know could and will be a life long activity for me and probably will help me greatly in my quest to be a calm and healthy individual. Any of you who are near and dear to me and live relatively close, I would appreciate any beneficial help you can give me in my current goals and welcome any constructive advice.

Gina Carano - too damn hot for words