As the World Turns

I'm not sure what to write anymore.  Part of the reason for starting this blog was for it to be therapeutic.  But I have a hard time wearing my heart on my sleeve.  So I avoided this place, this blog.  I'm sure I'm not alone in that defensive strategy.  I purposefully hid behind my excuse of having a second job and my excuse (which I no longer have) of working out every morning.  I just know that if I don't do something then I will begin to unravel.  So many of my goals are just beyond the finger tips but yet I feel like I'm just running in place. It's hard to stay motivated when your valuable therapy (Crossfit) is too expensive and your inexpensive therapy (wine) isn't truly therapeutic.  It's just a way of avoiding.

So here I am on a Tuesday night....avoiding.  I know what I need to do but that doesn't mean I have the fortitude to do it.  I have unfortunately found myself in a vicious cycle.  One of which that once you realize you're in it, the only person you can blame for it is yourself.  The question I must ask of myself is 'Can I break the cycle?'  Actually, that is not true.  I know I can break the cycle.  The right question is knowing if I can handle what comes after the cycle is broken.