So here I am on a Tuesday night....avoiding. I know what I need to do but that doesn't mean I have the fortitude to do it. I have unfortunately found myself in a vicious cycle. One of which that once you realize you're in it, the only person you can blame for it is yourself. The question I must ask of myself is 'Can I break the cycle?' Actually, that is not true. I know I can break the cycle. The right question is knowing if I can handle what comes after the cycle is broken.
Tuesday, October 30, 2012
I'm not sure what to write anymore. Part of the reason for starting this blog was for it to be therapeutic. But I have a hard time wearing my heart on my sleeve. So I avoided this place, this blog. I'm sure I'm not alone in that defensive strategy. I purposefully hid behind my excuse of having a second job and my excuse (which I no longer have) of working out every morning. I just know that if I don't do something then I will begin to unravel. So many of my goals are just beyond the finger tips but yet I feel like I'm just running in place. It's hard to stay motivated when your valuable therapy (Crossfit) is too expensive and your inexpensive therapy (wine) isn't truly therapeutic. It's just a way of avoiding.